# What If You Could Do It All Over?

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## Metadata
- Author: [[Joshua Rothman]]
- Full Title: What If You Could Do It All Over?
- Category: #articles
- URL: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/12/21/what-if-you-could-do-it-all-over

## Highlights
- Part of the work of being a modern person seems to be dreaming of alternate lives in which you don’t have to dream of alternate lives. We long to stop longing, but we also wring purpose from that desire.
- Jean-Paul Sartre said about the allure of imaginary lives: A man commits himself and draws his own portrait, outside of which there is nothing. No doubt this thought may seem harsh. . . . But on the other hand, it helps people to understand that reality alone counts, and that dreams, expectations, and hopes only serve to define a man as a broken dream, aborted hopes, and futile expectations.
    - Tags: [[dreams]] [[favorite]] 
- This vision seems impossible. As Sartre says, we are who we are. But isn’t the negative space in a portrait part of that portrait? In the sense that our unled lives have been imagined by us, and are part of us, they are real; to know what someone isn’t—what she might have been, what she’s dreamed of being—this is to know someone intimately.
    - Tags: [[self]] 
- The details of life seem to her both worthy of attention and somehow arbitrary; the meaning of the whole feels tied up in its elusiveness.
    - Tags: [[meaning]] [[favorite]] 
- And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be Are full of trees and changing leaves.
- Selves and lives have penumbras and possibilities—that’s what’s unique about them. They are always changing, and so are always new; they refuse to stand still. We live in anticipation of their meaning, which will inevitably exceed what can be known or said. Much must be left unsaid, unseen, unlived.